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holding the space. - a thousand years of Joy.

backwardslight
Date: 2011-01-19 23:33
Subject: holding the space.
Security: Public
Tags:2011
when my grandmother was dying, it was my job to hold the space. i was the one that kept people focused on What Was Going On in the room; this wasn't a time for idle chatter & listening to the news. this was a time to Be With our loved one, to sit with her, to stroke her hair, to let her know that It Was Okay, that all was well, that we loved her. it was to allow the sacredness of the moment enter our own hearts & souls. & when that final moment came, i was at my grandmother's side, and i kissed her face what felt like a million times. & i'll tell you that i saw her glow, but you may laugh at that. but i saw her soul leave her body & nothing comes close to that moment, aside from the births of my children.

& those births; when their souls left my body, how i shook! how could my body Not React to such a pure, beautiful, perfect little child leaving my body? how sacred i held each of my pregnancies; i knew & really Felt the significance of housing another soul. i cherished each day, because we do not Know that we will have the next together.

& so now, as a doula, my duty is to hold the space. to protect the sacredness of the moment in the room, in all our hearts & minds. to gently remind the mother of her own amazing strength & power. to meet the mother wherever she is & to help her get to where she wants to be. to help her, no matter what the outcome, to have a positive, life-affirming birth experience.

i am honored to know the mothers that i do whose births did not result in the all-too-often-taken-for-granted happy ending. i have learned so much through their strength, wisdom & ability to Keep Going.

their experiences, wisdom & strength help me be a better person, a more thoughtful doula, a more grateful mother, a more loving wife.

i am forever grateful.

& now as i embark on learning the art of spiritual direction, all i can think about is how maybe God created me to be a space-holder, a gatekeeper, a companion of women through life & death. an advocate for the holy ordinary, for the moments that you never see, never feel, if you keep your eyes closed too long. a voice to whisper in your ear affirmations of Life, whether in life or in death.
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at the impulse of your love: jesus
User: therachel
Date: 2011-01-20 04:49 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:jesus
this is your path, it's so clear and neat and perfect.
i am not so sure about my path.

i'm going to write you another email :)
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backwardslight
User: backwardslight
Date: 2011-01-22 03:48 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
<3
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The Sausage King of Chicago
User: banshee
Date: 2011-01-20 14:43 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
This is so beautiful.
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backwardslight
User: backwardslight
Date: 2011-01-22 03:48 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
<3
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maggie
User: maggie_maybe
Date: 2011-01-20 17:39 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
i so believe this is your calling.
are you going to be learning spiritual direction from dave nixon? LOVE HIM. whenever he speaks at our leaders' meetings, etc. i am so refreshed.
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backwardslight
User: backwardslight
Date: 2011-01-22 03:49 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
thank you maggie. i think you may be right!!

& yes, i am doing a six month spiritual direction program with dave nixon. it is absolutely amazing.
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paixmaker
User: paixmaker
Date: 2011-01-21 02:19 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
It is so nice to hear from you again.
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backwardslight
User: backwardslight
Date: 2011-01-22 03:49 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
<3
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jane b.
User: theexits
Date: 2011-01-24 04:35 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
you were meant for this!
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