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grace, part 1. - a thousand years of Joy.

Date: 2011-01-14 08:58
Subject: grace, part 1.
Security: Public
a typical night in our home goes something like this: i leave for work at 430, (not every night, but three of the five weeknights) -- matthew is home with the littles doing dinner, baths, all the fun stuff before bed, and gets them all in bed & asleep by 730 or 8 pm. i get home about 10:45pm, just in time to nurse a waking ruby & she likes to always hang out til midnight or so. then i go to bed, usually to wake around 1 with a boy that needs a drink or to pee or Something. ruby nurses again around 2. around 330 or 4 she wakes again, this time only wanting daddy & a bottle. (working so many nights in a row she so totally loves a bottle more than nursing; it's such a strange thing to me but! whatever. grace.peace.) i wake matthew & hand ruby over. usually i go to the bathroom & am then greeting by the lightest sleeper ever, noah, who insists on staying up for the day, but im usually able to get him to go back to bed until at least 5. sometimes 6! if we are lucky. (& he will wake at this hour whether he's in bed asleep at 730 or 1030 --trust me, we've tried the later bedtimes!) matthew hands me ruby back around 5 or 530, depending on when he has to leave for work. she's up for the day. a few minutes after matthew leaves, the boys trickle in. i ask God to order the day before me before my feet touch the ground again, and i ask for a soft heart.

& then i get a big cup of coffee.

i was always a sleeper. before i had noah i would sleep til noon, if i had a closing shift at work. i thrive on 8-10 hours of sleep a night. & sometimes, when i am trying to deal with something heavy or working on something within myself or under a lot of stress, i need to sleep even More. it's just how i process things, it's not an avoidance. i often wake up with a solution. anyhow, what i'm getting at is Grace. because it's only Grace that somehow allows me to function every day on very little sleep. i can't even say that most days i feel tired. sure, it's hard to Get Going. & i've been known to Just Fall Asleep. but truly? every day i feel like i've had the better part of 8 hours of rest, when the reality is i rarely even get to the REM stage anymore. it is Grace that rests my soul, that keeps my lips turned into a smile & not a frown, that allows my heart to soften with each sunrise.

& for that i am eternally grateful.
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at the impulse of your love: baby
User: therachel
Date: 2011-01-14 14:48 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Thank you for sharing this.
A natural flow of waking and sleeping is so nice,
even if everybody keeps odd hours.

I would like a soft heart.

I've been drinking Chai Noir every morning,
and coffee in the afternoon. Mmmm.
I love it again :)
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Average everyday sane psycho supergoddess
User: birthingway
Date: 2011-01-14 18:03 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Oh, but how lack of really good rest humbles us, and quickly. I have no assvice or solutions, but I really empathize. I love your quick prayer before your feet touch the ground. I have started too many days on an overtired emotional tear, and it's just not good for any of us.
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my journal
February 2011